Anonymous asked 9 years ago
Pozdrav. Imam 24 godine i sada vec tri propale poduze veze iza sebe. Prvi decko me je prevario kada sam bila najsrecnija na svetu,mislila da sam nasla pravu ljubav,to je bilo dok sam bila u pubertetu,nastavila sam sa njim i mnogo me je povredjivao i jedva sam izasla iz te veze.Kasnije sam se opet zaljubila i u toj vezi sam mnogo patila jer je bila veza na daljinu,koja se naravno takodje bolno zavrsila.A da,i on me je varao.Onda sam upoznala njega,sasvim obicnog momka,odgovarao mi je u svemu i odlicno smo funkcionisali…Ali onda su moje nesigurnosti pocele da isplivavaju,mozda zbog predjasnjih losih iskustva….Sve mi je smetalo,to sto ide kod druga svako vece,sto izlazi u grad preko dana,sto se ne vidjamo dovoljno i stalno sam gundjala i gundjala i gundjala…Nisam mu verovala dovoljno ali u dubini duse mnogo sam nade u njega polagala,cenim ga kao osobu i mogla sam dve ruke u vatru za njega da stavim.Dok jednog dana nije opet ispala svadja i mi raskinemo.I posle dva dana ja nisam mogla vise tu tugu da podnesem i odem kod njega i vidim mu u telefonu poruke da je bio sa drugom devojkom za to vreme dok nismo bili zajedno,bilo mi je strasno!!!Zar i onnn???Poludela sam ,od bola nisam mogla da ustanem iz kreveta,udarala sam sebe u glavu (ne znam zasto,tako me je teralo,od besa),imala sam modrice po licu…Opet sam otisla kod njega,samo sam htela objasnjenje,nisam mogla da nastavim da zivim.Reko mi je da ako ce da mi bude lakse da uradim i ja isto i da zaboravimo na sve,da pocnemo od pocetka…I to mi je delovalo kao jedino resenje jer nisam mogla bez njega a nisam mogla ni to da mu oprostim.I naravno uradim i ja to,samo mnogo blaze,ni 20% od onoga sto je on…Ali ja pocnem da osecam ogromnu grizu savesti,nisam mogla u oci da ga gledam,kako da lazem nekoga koga toliko volim.Volim iskrenost u vezi,mrzim prevaru,mrzela sam sebe.I pricam sa njim i priznam mu da sam i ja to uradia,i on naravno pobesni,to su mi bili najgori dani,htela sam da umrem,zar ja da upropastim ljubav??Kako cu to da prezivim?Ali on se javio i presao je preko toga.Ali od tad su nam odnosi bili zahladjeni,mi zelimo da budemo oni stari,da se volimo ali nesto nas odbija…Sve je bilo na silu…I preneki dan on mene ostavi i kaze mi da je najbolje tako.I ja ne znam sta da radim od tuge i bola,sto je najgore krivim sebe za sve.Pisala sam mu da mi nedostaje,da mozda mozemo nekako da se sredimo ali on ne pristaje…Znam da je i njemu tesko,volimo se,planirali smo brak i sve ali resio je i nema nazad.I sta cu ja sad?Izgubila sam i njega,najboljeg do sada koga sam imala…?I sta sad,opet sve iznova,nova veza,nove boli,nemam vise snage za to…Volim ga mnogo ali ako je to njegova zelja moram da ga pustim ali mi strasno nedostaje,volela bih da ga zagrlim i da ga nikada ne pustim. :((( Imam problem i sa depresijom,godinama unazad,molim vas za neki savet,mnogo bi mi znacilo trenutno.Zakazala sam kod psihijatra ali treba preziveti ove nekoliko nedelje do termina.
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